Hillary Clinton today stepped up the war of words on the issue of guns, maintaining that Senator Barack Obama suffers from “Projectile Dysfunction.”
Clinton recently touted her experience with guns as a young child.
“Senator Obama is definitely shooting blanks on this issue,” said Clinton. “You know, until you’ve held a rifle in your hands, raised the long, hard barrel, and blasted away at the target, you don’t really have a right to speak out on this issue.”
A visibly agitated Obama maintained that he has tried several times recently to get to a firing range, but “it just hasn’t worked out. It’s not like I can’t do it, because of course I can, whenever I want, without restriction. Many times I’ve been campaigning all day, and I’m just too tired. Or I’m just not in the mood…”
During a break from knocking back shots of Crown Royal whisky, Clinton characterized Obama’s response as, “unproductive…unfruitful…just more of the sort of limp, flaccid remarks that reflect Senator Obama’s complete impotence on this issue.”
“They’re both lightweights,” said Vice President Dick Cheney, weighing in on the issue. “Until you’ve actually shot another human being, you’re a total rookie.”
