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a picture of jennifer aniston showing cleavageCelebrities distributed throughout 11 states, including Jennifer Aniston and George Clooney, are being recalled because of possible E! coli contamination, federal officials say.

a picture of ashlee simpsonThe U.S. Department of Celebriculture said today that so far no illnesses have been reported from celebrities such as Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz. The agency was uncertain how many stars are being recalled, but it is believed that the recall includes Nicole Kidman, Harrison Ford, and John Travolta.

a picture of angelina jolie that shows her tattoosThe recalled celebrities, such as Angelina Jolie and Paris Hilton, are usually marked with one or more tattoos, including tribal dragons, wings, butterflies, Hebrew and Sanskrit characters, flowers, names of family members, or Chinese symbols.

E! coli, a potentially deadly bacteria carried by celebrities like Cate Blanchett, Shia LaBeouf, and Kenny Chesney, can cause diarrhea, dehydration and kidney failure.

Experts recommend the following precautions to avoid E! coli:

1) People who must handle celebrities, such as agents, publicists, and massage therapists, should WASH THEIR HANDS thoroughly after using the bathroom or changing diapers.

2) WASH YOUR HANDS after contact with celebrities or their environments (award shows, movie premiers, spas, or television and movie sets).

3) Avoid raw celebrities, such as Amy Winehouse, Britney Spears, Madonna, and Dennis Rodman.

4) Decontaminate celebrities with hydrogen peroxide.

One Response to “E! Coli Outbreak Prompts Celebrity Recall”

  1. damon says:

    Maybe their entourage should be in charge of hand sanitizer distribution.
    Or, in severe cases, blindfold dispersement.

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