In an effort to improve its battered image with an outraged American public, the embattled AIG (American International Group) today announced that it is changing its name to “Consolidated Investment Associates,” or CIA.
Acknowledging that the acronym is already widely used to refer to the U.S. Central Intelligence Agency, Edward Liddy, the CEO of the former AIG, admitted that “This was in fact a deliberate public relations maneuver. Congress regularly gives billions of dollars to the CIA without yelling at anyone, or even asking questions about where the money is going, so that sounded pretty darned good to us at this point.”
The new company name was conceived by the Makeoffsky Group, a New York public relations firm that reportedly received in the neighborhood of $165 million of American taxpayers’ money to develop the new corporate identity. Other possible new names that were considered for the former AIG were said to include:
- Make-A-Wish
- The Girl Scouts of America
- Childhood Leukemia Foundation
- Christian Children’s Fund
- Paralyzed Veterans of America
- Feed the Children
- Habitat for Humanity
- The American Cancer Society
- The Roman Catholic Church
