MIAMI, FL — A night of revelry turned into tragedy last night at a Miami nightclub when an attractive young woman — referred to in modern urban vernacular as a “shawty” — was burned in a fire on the dance floor at the Mansion club.
Miami Fire Department investigators reported that the victim had been shaking her thang hotter than the sun in the south of Spain for a prolonged period. According to eyewitness accounts, the shawty had just finished popping, locking, and dropping her birthday cake, when suddenly she burst into flame.
Shawty fire burning on the dance floor.
As of yet investigators do not know exactly what caused the the shawty to burst into flame. Preliminary findings would seem to point toward some sort of incendiary device under the dance floor, some sort of highly combustible liquid, or spontaneous booty combustion.
Club-goer Sean Kingston saw what happened and tried to summon help by repeatedly screaming, “Somebody call 911! She’s fire burning, fire burning on the dance floor! That little shawty’s fire burning on the dance floor!”
Sean Kingston: Somebody call 911!
Despite Kingston’s efforts, the shawty was fully involved by the time firefighters arrived, and suffered 2nd and 3rd degree burns over 80% of her body.
A distraught Kingston expressed sorrow at the tragic turn of events. “Her body was a masterpiece,” said Kingston, “the order is one in every hundred years. And I was planning on taking it home. So I guess I got burned, too. But maybe I can at least get a song out of all this.”
Shawty Fire Safety Tips
Fire prevention experts offer these tips to prevent shawty fires on dance floors:
- Keep combustible materials and liquids away from dance floors.
- Do not place incendiary devices underneath dance floors.
- Always keep a shawty extinguisher at the ready.
- When shaking your thang for prolonged periods, take frequent breaks to cool your thang down.
- Wear flame-retardant underwear.
